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August 11, 2005
The Smiths vs. the Talking Heads
So, there's this kid that I work with, and he loves his Talking Heads. I think that he loves the Talking Heads more than anything else in the whole wide world. He makes these claims that the Talking Heads are better than such and such band, and better than this food, and cuter than that girl over there washing her car. It has really gotten out of hand. He once tried to argue the indefensible position that the Talking Heads were better than the Rolling Stones. Now, I hate my classic rock as much as the next guy, but comon, man, Exile on Main Street, Mick, Kieth, Street Fighting Man, Moonlight Mile, Sticky Fingers, Bittersweet Symphony- you just can't top them. Then he took the slightly, and I mean very slightly, more defensible position that the Talking Heads were better than the Smiths. This was after I took the position that the Smiths were better than the Talking Heads. He called me crazy and then I did a little dance, and he said that I couldn't find anybody else who thinks that the Smiths are better than Talking Heads. So now I take it to you, the zero people (besides myself) who read my blog, to prove to my coworker that I am not crazy. Who's comin' with me.
To prove it to him I'll break it down into simple categories that I (and you) will rate on a scale of 1 to 10, 10, of course, being the best, and whoever has the higher total at the end wins the title of best band.
THE SMITHS/ THE TALKING HEADS
9 BAND NAME 7
10 FRONTMAN 8
BEST* ALBUM (proper)
8 The Queen is Dead/Remain in Light 9
ALBUM (compilation)
10 Louder Than Bombs/ 7
Sand in the Vaseline
WORST ALBUM
6 Strangeways Here We Come/
Naked 2
CUTER BASSIST
0 Andy Rourke/Tina Weymouth 6
SONG
10 There's A Light That Never Goes Out/
Naive Melody(This Must Be the Place)
9
EXTRA CREDIT: The Smiths get 5 extra points for their album artwork and 2 extra points for the guitar player having the same last name as me. The Talking Heads get 2 extra points for David Byrnes' dancing on the Stop Making Sense film, and lose 5 points for the fact that the best member of the band, Brian Eno, wasn't even a member of the band.
TOTALS
THE SMITHS: 60 points THE TALKING HEADS: 45 points
And, of course the Smiths win, hands down.
Try it out for yourself, you'll thank me in the morning.
*At least, what the critical concensus of best album seems to be.
Posted by acm at August 11, 2005 12:26 AM
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Comments
C'mon man. Give Andy Rourke some credit. I'm not saying he's cuter, but zero?
Posted by: Other Chris at August 11, 2005 02:20 AM
I'm also trying to decide whether you should add or subtract points for David Byrne's giant suit in "Stop Making Sense".
Posted by: Other Chris at August 11, 2005 03:07 AM
And when they worked toghether, not much came out of it. The apperance of Johnny Marr on "Naked" did not leave any notable marks.
Posted by: Anders at December 3, 2005 05:18 AM